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Noober is male civilian who is seen as the the most irritating character in the game by many players.

You'll bump into him after crossing the southern bridge in town of Nashkel. He will then say something pointless to you every few seconds. No one would judge you if you killed him or polymorphed him into a squirrel. You will lose no reputation if you choose to take drastic measures.

Should you decide to let him live, he'll eventually get bored and leave, granting you an easy 400 XP.

Noober doesn't return in Siege of Dragonspear, but there is someone called Nüber.

Noober also doesn't return in Shadows of Amn, but instead there is someone called Neeber. It's not known whether they are related, but Neeber has the same behavior and he will also reward the player for their patience.

In the Baldur's Gate II Enhanced Edition it's possible to inscribe Noober's name on the Scroll of Retribution during Dorn's Throne of Bhaal questline. Doing so will cause a random encounter to occur at some point in the future where both a planetar and Noober appear and the planetar declares Noober's crimes and then executes him.

Tolerating Noober[]

Once you find Noober by the bridge, he will come up to you and speak with you. Once this is finished, he will speak with you again... and again... and again.

In total, Noober approaches and disturbs you thirty-two times. To speed things up you can pester him instead by talking to him constantly. If you choose to put up with him, there is 400 XP in it for you.

However, you can kill him without losing any reputation. There is always, of course, the amusing solution of using the Wand of Polymorphing to turn him into a squirrel.


  1. "Hi, I'm Noober. Nice place, huh?"
  2. "So, killed any monsters yet?"
  3. "Ever been to Baldur's Gate? I've been to Baldur's Gate."
  4. "Ugh, I think I stepped in something."
  5. "Everyone in town used to throw rocks at me and tell me I was annoying."
  6. "What time is it?"
  7. "I haven't had a conversation this long, well... ever!"
  8. "What's that big weapon for?"
  9. "Those colors look pretty stoopid on you..."
  10. "I once knew this guy named Dilby. He threw rocks at me, too. Are you gonna throw rocks at me?"
  11. "What about now?"
  12. "What about now?"
  13. "What about now?"
  14. "What about now?"
  15. "What about now?"
  16. "What about now?"
  17. "What about now?"
  18. "What about now?"
  19. "What about now?"
  20. "What about now?"
  21. "What about now?"
  22. "What about now?"
  23. "What about now?"
  24. "What about now?"
  25. "What about now?"
  26. "What about now?"
  27. "What about now?"
  28. "What about now?"
  29. "What about now?"
  30. "What about now?"
  31. "What about now?"
  32. "Gee, you sure are patient. I've run out of things to say." (Party gains 400 XP, Noober leaves.)